I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
