They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
