I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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