is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
