How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
