I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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