i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize