i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
