Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
