Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
