evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
