That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
