remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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