it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
