My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
