It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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