Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have feelings that need drinking.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
