I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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