Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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