dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
