Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i was born a porn star she said
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
