we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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