Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
