Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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