Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
