i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
