You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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