If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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