Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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