she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
