Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
