My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Of course I have a pirate flag
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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