His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
