The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
