i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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