I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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