3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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