Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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