im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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