Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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