and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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