Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense

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(708): View more from Illinois

Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.

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(523): View more from

Hey did where's my bong?

(1-523): View more from

In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right

(523): View more from

Should I bother to ask?

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(714): View more from California

Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.

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(352): View more from Florida

a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.

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