I cannot find my penis.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I AM VODKA MAN
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
