nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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