so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
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