I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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