I am spending my child support on dildos
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
