i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
