put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
