my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
