the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
