Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
