Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
