Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
