She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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