i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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