I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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