just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
