i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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