yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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