I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize