youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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