i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
