You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
