Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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