ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
