In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
